The Littlest Payne is napping and I have some time to reflect on how our very first March – at 38 years (me) and 14 months (she) – went. We attended the March for Our Lives event in Nashville, Tennessee today, March 24, 2018.
I am a parent with anxiety who is strongly an introvert in many social situations. Typically I would say “hell no, thanks” to an event with a crowd in the thousands. The message behind March for Our Lives – simply put, gun control – is important to me so I put my brave face on for Littlest and committed to doing this. There were a couple things that made this commitment easy(ish) and two very specific factors that made attending and participating in an event like a march in a medium sized city achievable.
Let’s kick this first blog post off with some down and dirty honesty, why don’t we? I parent while living with depression and anxiety. I am constantly trying to balance acknowledging and then ignoring that voice called Anxiety that whispers in my ear – and if I do not succeed on the ignoring front, Anxiety rears her ugly head into Depression.
Thinking about doing something like attending a crowded and emotional public event like a march or protest makes me say “no, thanks” – then feel incredibly guilty because that is absolutely not the message I want to send my daughter.
What helps me overcome the seemingly innumerable what ifs and I cannots is preparing – mentally and physically – as much as possible before an event and going or meeting up with other people. Just to have someone standing by my side is often enough accountability and support for me to be brave enough to do something new and very much out of my comfort zone.